The parents are the people who have to guide, teach, nurture good habits and behave like role models to their children.
Some of them take this duty seriously to the extent of being called as the Helicopter parents, which means they hover above their children and watch each and every movement, if there is an opportunity arises, they will interfere in their children s lives as if they are the one who can rescue their offspring from such a calamity, as if the children are unable to protect themselves.
Are these type of parents really helpful to their children or simply a nuisance in youngsters life? When and where should we stop our parental duties, in the sense tailing after them, for our children to grow normally?
RSS
Comments
In theory, the parents should only guide and control their children as long as they are still in school, not married or still financially dependent on them. And when they graduate, start working or get married, the parents are EXPECTED not to interfere with their childrens' lives. This is evident in more developed western societies - where the "birds leave the nest" expectation is practiced. Although most Asians do not practice this, unfortunately it is begining to creep into the lives of the younger and more educated [western education] generation. Good or bad depends on each individual.
Too much control and extreme strictness do not guarantee that the child will grow up to be good - neither will less control make them bad hats of society. It is the closeness, care and concern between parents and children that will ensure a BETTER CHANCE to get good children. Again this is subjective and depend on individual families.
Is this really the truth?? Or is it they want their children to attain what they, the parents, could not attain themselves.
I see kids being rushed from school to different tuiton classes and parents "hovering" over them to do homework and more studies at home.
Scoring a lot of "A"s is highly desirable and lack of "A"s is seen as a failure. Could it be that lots of "A"s allow the parents to brag & boast about their kids to others?
All this "forced feeding" has robbed the kids off their childhood. Often there is no time to play and enjoy the things of youth.
This sort of parental behaviour is most obvious amongst Asians. It is not so obvious amongst Europeans. They tend to give their children a more balanced lifestyle.
The question is, "does all these force feeding produce better students and better citizens?" The answer is Yes and No.
It is common to see Asian kids excel themselves in primary & secondary school BUT when you look at the University level, it is a level playing field. Generally speaking, Asian do no better than Anglo Saxons at the tertiary level.
The level playing field is even more obvious when we look at the commercial field after graduation. Asians do no better than their Anglo Saxon counter parts and in fact some studies show the Anglo Saxons perform better.
even lots more set a side tonnes of money in the form as 'investment', insurance, property, so as to 'secure their future.
which is what makes our future generation incompetent whenever any difficult situation arises.
this is exactly the same scenario that we see in our BN govt spoon-feeding the protected businessmen.
which is also why our largest conglomerate group 'RENONG' can disappear just like that in the advent of an economic crisis.
spoon-feeding denies the children any opportunity to learn HOW TO WEATHER THE STORM.
Those days parents were so protective and manipulative. In this modern generation, most of the people are very smart and would prefer to be independent and many achieved good standards in life. Many children of those illiterate excel in their life without their parent's manipulation. parents should guide only not have a control on them..let them live freely after one stage...
Thank you ng,ahvincent, woody,ladycinta and kaposhkaposh..
Parents sacrifice a lot for their childrens welfare and nothing can compensate this love and affection.
When an infant starts to walk, we are always with him/her to make sure that he/she does not fall and get hurt, but once he/she knows to walk properly, we let him/her try on his/her own.
Other part of the life also the same, where our parental guidance should be restricted to check them whether they are on the right path or not.
Parents with only child should be extra careful to take care of themselves, when their only child leaves the home for education or work, then they will be left alone to fend for themselves, this period of life is the most cruel part for human as parents.
Nothing wrong in protecting and something wrong when not protecting your own offspring.
Over protecting is the psychological factor which should be addressed.
Cheers....
I saw a movie some time ago. The leading character of that movie talked to his father about his disappointment,frustration,
unworthiness and helplessness, whenever his father instructed, guided, advised and protected for trivial matters since he was young. During the climax scene, the father told the son that he did everything for his children and always thought about his family and their welfare only and he was confused what was wrong with his perfect human nature. The son replied that he too loved his father, agreed to whatever the father said, because he wanted his father to be happy, when was forced to wear,do,study and behave something he really disliked. To make his father happy the son sacrificed his own feelings.. The movie is very touching.
I had taken my young relatives for shopping, asked them to choose their own clothes and left the department as if I had other works.
When I came back and looked at their selection, I was not comfortable with their choice of color and material, but I kept quiet and told them that they selected perfectly.
I never see them so proud with beaming smile, then I realized my mistake, children have their own liking and disliking.
That is why I have written this blog.
Cheers...
hey have you watched the show: Finding Nemo?